"Your calling isn't meant to be easy"

Nothing seems to drain me like these foster/adopt classes. They are so full of great information, but a lot of it is very heavy and difficult to hear. Today, one of the speakers talked about brain development and the effects of alcohol and other drug use during pregnancy. It was SO informative! She even gave us a chart that explains each behavior, how it is commonly seen, and what the actual issue may be. For example: Not following directions - commonly seen as willful disobedience - actually can be a child's inability to connect the directions with actions, or they are unable to understand.

The second speaker talked to us about sexual abuse. It was disturbing, to say the least. Some of the examples she used from actual cases were so insidious and horrifying, I actually became flushed because I felt so angry. But it was necessary, and we learned a lot about how to handle children who have been sexually abused. The homework we have every week has been great in helping us really think about our own upbringings and helps us to relate to the children in foster care.

As far as adoption...Justin and I are still unsure of what God wants us to do. We are trying to focus on the step we are on, which is attending these classes. The information we are gaining has been SO helpful and will relate whether we choose domestic or international adoption. I do feel like the enemy has really been attacking us lately and it seems to be focused on the weekends and days following these classes. I feel like everything in the future is foggy and the only thing we are sure on is what is right in front of us. Maybe God doesn't want us to know which direction He plans to lead us, and that's ok. I love to know all the plans before they happen, but God certainly doesn't work that way. But that keeps us open to whatever is in store. It's been a great way to demonstrate our trust in Him.

A few days ago, an article from Relevant magazine showed up in my newsfeed. It was entitled "Your Calling Isn't Meant To Be Easy." The title says it all. I think inside I still believed the lie that if your are called to something, it will be easier for you. That if you are met with difficulty, maybe you "heard God wrong." But that is NOT the case! Yes, you may be called to something, and it may be hard, but God will always equip you. Most of the great men and women in the Bible encountered difficulties, some were even fearful or doubtful. But with the obedience of following their calling, they were able to carry out God's plans. THAT is who I want to be. I want to be faithful to His calling. No matter how crazy people think I am, or how much they try to talk me out of it.

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8

Right now, I am waiting for definite directions. But I am trusting that I am waiting for a reason. I trust in His timing.