Two months without a post. I can promise you, it isn't because I've had nothing to say. Actually, I've had tons to say, but just haven't been sure how to say it. I've been so busy it's been difficult to organize my thoughts into words, or to find the time to sit and write.
Justin has been blessed with a lot of overtime work. We will have one of our credit cards paid off by our next paycheck, which is a load off our backs! One more to go. My Ava Anderson business has been successful, and it's nice to be able to contribute toward paying down debt. We've been waiting for God to direct us, so we are trying to keep open minds, and focus on paying things off and then, God willing, saving up for a minivan. Because our car will NOT hold more than 3 car seats across the back.
Lately I have been strongly sensing that we will begin the adoption process sooner rather than later. I've been fighting a lot of fears and anxieties, some are understandable, but ALL are signs of distrust in the Lord. When I think about saving a child through adoption, I feel a peace in my heart. As soon as I started to question things, the fear creeps in. I believe God wants me to step out in faith and truly trust Him. It's something I have struggled with my entire life; trusting.
Every single day, it's in the back of my mind. When I am out and about, I'll have all 3 children in my view, and yet I subconsciously look around for my other kids. This happens ALL THE TIME! It's like my family doesn't feel right without more children. It's the oddest feeling, but for months I've felt like someone is missing. My family doesn't feel complete.
So where are we with adoption? Mentally, we are there. Otherwise, we aren't really anywhere. (I feel like I am writing a Dr. Seuss book!) I hate trying to answer questions when people ask me where we are hoping to adopt from, because we don't know. God knows all of it, and He is only giving us small pieces at a time. I am being patient as I can be. I know His timing is best.
Continued prayer for direction would be great!
We were at that point in our adoption journey not too long ago, and I remember how hard it was to be "up in the air" like that. We tried to commit to 3 different children before we found our son. Each one was adopted out from under us as we were going through the commitment process. We felt so confused! I will pray for you to have some answers soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you Samantha! We know that when it's right, it'll happen!
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