I feel like I am finally comfortable with who I am and have learned to let go of who I am not. I'm learning to stop allowing other people's opinions to affect my own convictions or to make me insecure. I've let go of friendships that needed to be let go of. I've realized I'm much more introverted than I used to be, and have embraced that. It has given me a lot of time to be able to recharge and focus on the important things.
My due date is in the same month that I miscarried last spring. This is so symbolic to me. God has turned my sorrow into joy, and literally not one day goes by that I don't thank Him for this gift. When I found out I was pregnant with that baby, I remember fearing what other people would think about us having another. That miscarriage changed me, for the better, if you can believe good can come from something so tragic. This pregnancy, I haven't worried at all of what anyone thinks. I am so happy and so, ridiculously grateful. It's unfortunate that it took something so sad to make me truly appreciate the things I took for granted.
We also had quite a lesson in finances. Justin had unexpected surgery in July, which consequently kept him out of work for 9 weeks. Thank God we did receive benefits through his work during that time, but it was still less than half of what he normally makes. It was a hard, but much needed lesson in how we have been handling our finances. We had the head knowledge (we took Dave Ramsey's financial peace university) but needed a wakeup call. Since then, we have been humbled and have really changed course for the better.
We celebrated 10 years of marriage shortly after his surgery. We had already booked a short getaway and decided not to cancel. I'm glad we didn't. It wasn't quite what we had imagined (a beach vacation with a water-loving husband who can't go swimming because of his stitches!) but it reminded me of our vows. In sickness and in health. I wasn't going to let surgery get in the way of us celebrating a milestone I think sometimes even we doubted we would reach.
Our wedding day August 7th, 2004 as an 18 and 21 year old
Justin & I on the beach celebrating our 10th anniversary. Like a fine wine, I think we get better with age! ;)
All in all, 2014 has made me more grateful for what I've been blessed with. Even though it may not be where I thought we would be right now, I feel a deep peace that we are exactly where God wants us.