There are days I don't feel like a real Christian.
My spiritual journey is full of high mountains and deep valleys, instead of the flat plains of rock-solid faith it seems everyone else has. I struggle with reconciling my past with the present. My trust in Him wavers - sometimes daily - and there are times I want to just run away from it all, when I don't feel strong and it's like the world is a mad train rolling over me with no sign of stopping.
During these struggles, these trials, I wonder...When will I arrive?
When will I reach that place of complete trust and spiritual maturity?
When will I be a real Christian?
I have put aside the plans God laid on my heart because I'm "not ready" or "not where I need to be spiritually." I felt I needed to work on getting myself in the right place before I start helping someone else or committing to God's plan for me.
One day, God spoke to my heart, and it hit my plain as day:
Maybe the way to get in the 'right place' spiritually is by jumping in and committing to God's plan.
Maybe I just need to DO something, instead of sitting stagnant and directionless.
I guess I assumed God wouldn't call me to do anything great until I was great. But maybe the path to greatness isn't through myself, but through others. Maybe, I need to step back and stop focusing on my own shortcomings, and focus on how I can use my abilities to serve God.
The rock-solid Christians I thought had an easy spiritual journey? They went through the trials by fire in order for God to refine them into the believers they are today. No one is perfect. And no one comes to perfect faith by having an easy-going life.
I read a blog post by Jon Acuff a few days ago that was so simple, yet so true and thought-provoking. Read it here. It's short but a must-read.
His point is, God recruits from the pit, not the pedestal. He uses ordinary, doubting, troubled people to do His work. Stop waiting for yourself to "arrive" at the spiritual pedestal, because God wants you, (yes, you!) to do His work, just the way you are right now.